We like to party

You a bad girl and your friends bad too, oh
We got the swag sauce, she drippin' swagu
You a bad girl and your friends bad too, oh
We got the swag sauce, she drippin' swagu

I may be young, but I'm ready
To give you all my love
I told my girls you can get it
Don't slow it down, just let it go

So in love
I'll give it all away
Just don't tell nobody tomorrow
So tonight
I'll do it every way
Speakers knockin' till the morning light

'Cause we like to party-y-y-y-y-y-y
'Cause we like to party-y-y-y-y-y-y
'Cause we like to party

Your touch is driving me crazy
I can't explain the way I feel
Top down with the radio on
And the night belongs to us
Just hold me close, don't let me go

So in love
I don't care what they say
I don't care if they talking tomorrow
Cause tonight's the night Oh Oh Oh Oh
That I give you everything
Music knockin' till the morning light
Cause we like to party!

Set the scene, three thousand degrees
Ain't worried 'bout them fuck niggas over there, but they worried 'bout me
I got a homeboy named Butta and another homeboy, that nigga named Cheese
Fuck with me baby, I make it milk till it drip down yo knees
Spit this shit fo' rillo, brain brillo
Kiddo say he looks up to me, this just makes me feel old
Never thought that we could become someone else's hero
Man, we were just in the food court, eating our gyros
Yesterday, that's the way, every single mornin' I try to pray
Grandmom 'n' them, they never forgot, and nothin' else really mean none to me
I ain't stuntin' to beat, talkin' to me?
Girl, why you fuckin' with me? Move on, ain't none to see
Pssh, always somethin' to salt, I'm the raw, off the rip
'Cause of him, all of them, will remember the men
And that they fell in love with rap, black like havin' your cousin back
Blue like when that rent is due, cream like when I'm lovin' you

So in love
I'll give it all away
Just don't tell nobody tomorrow
'Cause tonight's the night
That I give you everything
Music knockin' till the morning light

'Cause we like to party-y-y-y-y-y-y
'Cause we like to party-y-y-y-y-y-y
'Cause we like to party

You a bad girl and your friends bad too, oh
We got the swag sauce, she drippin' swagu, ooh
You a bad girl and your friends bad too, oh
We got the swag sauce, she drippin' swagu, ooh ooh 

I know you don't care too much but I still care

I told you how your hurt me, baby,
But you don't care,
Now I'm crying and deserted, baby,
But you don't care,
Ain't nobody tell me this is love,
When you're immune to all my pain,
I need you to tell me this is love,
You don't care, well, that's okay,

Well, I care (ooh),
I know you don't care too much,
But I still care,
La la la la la (baby),
La la la la la la,
Oh, I care (ooh),
I know you don't care too much,
But I still care,
La la la la la (baby),
La la la la la la, oh,

Ever since you knew your power,
You made my cry,
And now every time our love goes sour,
You won't sympathize,
You see these tears falling down to my ears,
I swear you like when I'm in pain,
I try to tell you all my fears, huh,
You still don't care, that's okay, hey,

Well, I care (ooh),
I know you don't care too much,
But I still care,
La la la la la (baby),

La la la la la la,
Oh, I care (ooh),
I know you don't care too much,
But I still care,
La la la la la (yeah, baby),
La la la la la la, yeah,

Boy, maybe if you care enough,
I wouldn't have to care so much,
What happened to our trust?
Now you're just given up,
You used to be so in love,
Now you don't care no more,

Ooh,

Well, I care (ooh),
I know you don't care too much,
But I still care,
La la la la la (baby),
La la la la la la,
Oh, I care (ooh),
I know you don't care too much,
But I still care,

She took his heart away from mine

The days were long and the nights so cold
the pages turned and the tale unfolds
He'd left me for another lady.
She stood so tall and she never slept
There was not one moment he could regret
He'd left me for another lady

He took my hand one day and told me he was leaving, me disbelieving and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I had to let him go

Her name was New York, New York, and she took his heart away oh my Her name was New York, New York, she had poisoned his sweet mind

mmm.. The wolves they howled for my lost soul
I fell down a deep black hole, He'd left me for another lady
she poured the drinks and she poured the power
A diamond girl who could talk for hours
He'd left me for another lady

Now I am on my own, he told me he was leaving, and I was pleading and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I had to let him go

Her name was New York, New York, and she took his heart away oh my, Her name was New York, New York, she had poisoned his sweet mind

The greatest times, I don't wanna hear it, your new laughter lines
I don't wanna hear it, the new found friends she introduced you to
I don't wanna know them I just wanna be with you..

please don't make me go to New York, New York, and she took your heart away oh my, her name was New York, New York, She poisoned your sweet mind. she poisoned your sweet mind.

It's too cold outside for angels to fly

Not sure if I understand the lyrics but I do love the sonngg


White lips, pale face
Breathing in snowflakes
Burnt lungs, sour taste
Light's gone, day's end
Struggling to pay rent
Long nights, strange men

And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

And they scream
The worst things in life come free to us
Cos we're just under the upperhand
And go mad for a couple of grams
And she don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland
Or sells love to another man
It's too cold outside
For angels to fly
Angels to die

Ripped gloves, raincoat
Tried to swim and stay afloat
Dry house, wet clothes
Loose change, bank notes
Weary-eyed, dry throat
Call girl, no phone

And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

And they scream
The worst things in life come free to us
Cos we're just under the upperhand
And go mad for a couple of grams
But she don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland
Or sells love to another man
It's too cold outside
For angels to fly
Angels to fly
An angel will die
Covered in white
Closed eye
And hoping for a better life
This time, we'll fade out tonight
Straight down the line

And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries
They scream
The worst things in life come free to us
And we're all under the upperhand
Go mad for a couple of grams
And we don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe we fly to the Motherland
Or sell love to another man
It's too cold
For angels to fly
Angels to fly
To fly, fly
Angels to fly, to fly, to fly
Angels to die

The change formula

CHANGE=

dissatisfaction of the present  

+

vision of the future 

+

knowledge of a starting point

Without one of these elements you cannot produce change

I'm beautiful in my way cause God makes no mistakes

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are"
She said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way

Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
(Born this way)
Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Right track baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag - just be a queen
Don't be a drag - just be a queen
Don't be a drag - just be a queen
Don't be!

Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth
A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (hey hey hey)
I love my life I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (love needs faith)

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby you were born this way
No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to be brave

I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!

How can you bring yourself to do that?!

I was watching Jeremy Kyle today (I have a lot of respect for the man and love his show) and on the show was Jade Goody's mother talking about many things, her drug addiction, how she has coped with the death of her daughter but the thing that struck me most was when she spoke about her attempted suicide.

She wanted to be with Jade and so killing herself was the best thing to do. She in her head had managed to convince herself that it was the best thing to do. She wrote notes and then cut herself. She was found by a stranger and woke up in intensive care. Looking back she believes an angel brought the stranger to her and made her wake up. And she is glad they did. And she knows she would never ever do it again because she needs to be there for her grandsons.

What struck me most is that Jeremy almost had a go at her. Told her how angry Jade would be if she had been here. Asked her why she did it. What was going through her mind. Practically called her crazy. Saying why didn't you speak to those around you, ask for help? Saying that your daughter didn't have a choice and you did yet you chose to take your life.  And it reminded me of a conversation I had with my two friends last week, who both said 'I have no idea how someone could do that, I could never bring myself to take my own life'. It is hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been there that it is not that person doing it to themselves. There is no logical explanation to how they got to that stage. It is like being possessed. You don't have control over your thoughts or actions. You can't stop yourself. Because it's not you. It's like your another person. And afterwards you hate yourself for having done it. And no one can ever understand what it feels like to be in such a dark place that it becomes the logical thing to do. It's not selfish. It's not attention seeking. It may be a cry for help, but not purposely at other's expense. It's a means of escape for that person. Thoughts of loved ones disappear. Thoughts of what they are leaving behind are non existent.

But I can't blame Jeremy for his reaction. If you haven't been there I can see how hard it is to understand.

We are the strong ones who can't lose the fight

Beth - my best friend. Our lives are so similar, we go through absolutely everything together. We are eachother's strengths and I wouldn't be here without her. <3

God is with you

Girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn’t afraid because it was a small town and she
lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep hersafe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed
a man standing at the end as though he was waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God’s protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she
reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. 
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had
been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She
agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do
for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, “Because she wasn’t alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her.” 
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you’re never alone.

When working with young people

'Do not try to call them back to where they were, and do not call them to where you are, beautiful as that place may seem to you. You must have the courage to go with them to a place neither you nor they have been before.'

 V J Donovan

You with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness there inside you
Makes you feel so small

But I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours
True colours are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
And don't be unhappy, can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours
True colours are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Ohhhh
I can't remember
When I last saw you laugh
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colours
Shining through
See your true colours
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours, true colours
Are beautiful like a rainbow

After all the darkness and sadness, still comes happiness

Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer,
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder,
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiser,
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter,
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,
Sold nine million.

I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm inhalin'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
Perfect vision,
You thought I couldn't last without ya,
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without ya,
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without ya,
But I'm on top,
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still gon' be here.

I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity,
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma told me better than that.

I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity.

I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what)(Don't stop me now)
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

My nans :)

I'm so lucky to still have my two nans, love them both very much!

My amazing mum and dad

Both my inspirations who I love and am so lucky to have. This is them on their wedding day

Siblings

Me my brother and my sister <3

The most important person to me in the world

When I was in hospital my sister was 11. She made a card saying 'please come home, I need my sister'. It was then I realised I could never leave her. She became my reason for living. She is the most important person in the world to me. She makes me smile, we laugh all the time. We are typical sisters. But we are so close and I wouldn't be here without her.

My rock

My cousin Leila. We have always been close. When we were younger we wrote to eachother. We tell eachother everything. She's my voice of reason, the wisest person I know and never fails to sort me out. And I'm the older one!!

Cousins

I have 8 on my mum's side and 3 on my dad's side.

I am lucky to have had a big ish family, grown up with a loving, full and fun family. Christmas' and Easter were big family occassions and I was lucky to grow up with all 4 of my grandparents. Pic above and below are the girlies

My boys

me and my two baby cousins Ieuan who is 2 and a half and Ianto who is now 6 months but in this photo is new born. Both gorgeous. Live in London so I'm very close to them. Love them to pieces.

The gang :)

This was us nearly 2 years ago....

This was us a year ago....

Because of uni, obviously things have changed. But we are all still good mates and if we were good enough at organising, all of us would come together again. I'm so lucky to have these guys, we are such a good group. Through high school and college we were the biggest friendship group. These guys changed my life. Love it!

My 10 girls

Did I mention how lucky I am to have these girls in my life? They are amazing and I couldn't be without them. Fran is missing but she's the 11th.
I love them all so much!

You make it real to me

Gorgeous lyrics and sang amazingly by James Morrison


There's so much craziness
Surrounding me
There's so much going on
It gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone
You bring it back to me
You make it real for me

When I'm not sure of
My priorities
When I've lost sight of
Of where I'm meant to be
Like Holy water
Passing over me
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you baby
'Cause you are the only one who'll save me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong
But my heart is weak
I'm full of arrogance
And uncertainty
I can't find the words you teach my heart to speak
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you baby
'Cause you are the only one who'll save me
That's why I've been missing you lately
'Cause you make it real for me

Everybody's talking in words I don't understand
You got to be the only one who knows just who I am
You're shining in the distance I hope I can make it through
'Cause the only place that I want to be is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more
I have to learn
But if you're here with me
I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere
Somewhere where I can run
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you baby
'Cause you are the only one who'll save me
That's why i been missing you lately
'Cause you make it real for me
You make it real for me

We ain't got nothing without love

I am loving Beyonce's album 4! It is stunning and this song is gorgeous <3


If I aint got nothing, I got you
If I aint got something I don't give a damn, cause I got it with you
I don't know much about algebra, but I know one plus one equals two
And it's me and you, thats all we'll have when the world is thru

Cause baby we aint got nothing without love
Darling you got enough for the both of us
So come on baby, make love to me

When my days look low, pull me in close and don't let me go.
Make love to me. So that when the worlds at war, that our love heal us all
Right now baby make love to me...me...me...mee...mee. ooh ooh make love to me.

Hey! I don't know much about guns but I...I've been shot by you
Hey! And I don't know when I'm gon die, but I hope that I'm gon die by you
Hey! And I don't know much about fighting, but I, I know I will fight for you
Hey! Just when I ball up my fist I realize that I'm laying right next to you

Baby we aint nothing but love, and darling you got enough for the both of us
Make love to me...when my days look low, pull me in close and don't let me go.
Make love to me...so that when the worlds at war, that our love heal us all
Help me let down my guard, make love to me…

Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead

WARNING - VERY HONEST. NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED.

So I have been wanting to write this post for a while, it's something that I am passionate about because I have been through it myself and watched those closest to me go through it. I am passionate about many things, but this is something that is just not spoken about enough. And providing that this would be a huge part of my book, I have no issues with putting it on here.

I do not claim to be an expert, or have all the answers or knowledge, never have. I forever speak from my own experiences. I have studied it in detail also, but its easy enough to find the facts on the net, unless you have been through it you cannot actually know enough about it. 

Imagine a room, completely black. You can't see a thing. There's a door. You can see a tiny bit of light. You know thats where you have got to get to. But you don't know how to get to it. You can't see. There are people in the room. They are the only way you can get over the hurdles to get to the light. You reach out. You can't feel them. You have never felt more alone. The people there are screaming at you, wanting to help, holding out their hands to you to hold, but you can't see them, you can't hear them, you can't reach them. Or worse so, your mind has convinced you you don't need them. And all you want is for someone to turn the lightswitch on.

In your head, imagine two people. One is what I like to call a deamon, a monster, the other is you. The deamon is depression. When you are weak, he is strong. He takes over your mind and can convince you of anything. He tells you what your thinking. He speaks to you. He is negative. He convinces you that you are worthless, that there is not reason to fight, that the world is against you and that you are better off not around. These thoughts are rushing through your mind. They will not budge. They lead to how you feel, your emotions and they lead to your reactions, how you act towards others, towards yourself. 

No one can hear this deamon. No one can understand your head. So they don't understand why your feeling how you are feeling. No one can understand why you act the way you act. Because it doesn't make sense. Your thinking becomes illogical. And you upset people and offend people. And hurt the people closest to you. Everything that makes you happy becomes the thing that destroys you. And the hardest thing is that sometimes, there is not something specific that has made you feel so awful, so low, so depressed. Sometimes it is just there, deflating you and when people ask you what is wrong, you can’t actually explain. This alienates people.

And so you put up a barrier. You can't bear hurting others. So you don't let anything or anyone become close. You withdraw. You find yourself alone. And as people try to help, you push them away for fear you will hurt them. You convince yourself they are better off without them.

But its a constant battle in your own head. Because you must always remember, that there is the other part of your mind, yourself. Who's trying to fight the deamon. Trying to tell them they are wrong. Trying to stop yourself from believing them. When you are strong. You can. When you are weak, you become invisible. You no longer recognise yourself.

And so the deamon is also hurting you. No one can hurt you as much as the deamon can hurt you. And as the deamon is part of you,  no one can hurt you more than you can hurt yourself. Imagine a world where you are destroying yourself from the inside. And no one can see this. And this is where self harm comes into play. Because you convince yourself that you should physically be in pain, because this may stop the mental and emotional pain. It also manages to convince you to kill yourself, because you come to the genuine belief that this is best for you and more importantly for everyone else. People who don't understand look at those who self harm and commit suicide as selfish and self consumed, asking for attention.. This is hurtful to those who suffer. The self harm may be a cry for help. A desperate plee for someone to notice their pain. It also helps them to be able to visualise their own pain that is so prominent in their minds. IBut it is often an action out of their control. Afterwards they dont understand why they did it. They do not remember how they got to the point where they felt nit was necessary to do that to themselves. So how can this be attention seeking? But yes, maybe the deamon is attention seeking, wanting the world to see their victory. But it is not yourself.

No one can see depression. Sellf harming, crying, being tired, facebook, twitter, blogs can be visible signs. Having to take medication, being in therapy, hospital, these are all visible signs. But there isnt a plaster or a bandage. If your arm was in plaster everyone would take pity on you, ask whats wrong, be interested, because they can see it. Depression is also not liked to be talked about. Someone may know you are on medication, but dont ask anything else. If you had cancer, which simlarly destroys from within, cannot be fixed quickly, and isnt instantly visible, is talked about. People ask how you are, everyone knows if you have cancer. And they are desperate to help. It's somehow easier to sympathise with. People struggle to sympathise with people who have depression because they simply do not understand. And this is hard. But you can't blame them. Unless you have been there, you couldn't understand. And in fairness, there are people who try, but just can't understand. And ironically, people with depression can sympathise with anyone. For, in my opinion, depression is the worst illness possible as it is self destructive and is all in your head, but more to the point it leads you to feel the deepest and lowest pain in the world. As low or worse than grief. But no one who has not been through depression can understand or believe this. But an illness that can lead you to end your own life, simply because you have convinced yourself you need to, is obviously an illness that really causes the lowest of lows in feelings. It affects your every move, every aspect of your life is taken over, you cannot function fully as something is holding you back. It takes your happiness. To have depression is the opposite of happiness. And it doesn't just affect the sufferer, but those around them. And it leaves sufferers feeling unbelievably lonely. 

There is no quick fix for depression. Some people are reluctant to believe that depression is an illness, they believe it is an emotion that everyone feels and those who look at it as an illness are over dramatic and attention seeking. People do go through spells of depression, anyone can, it may happen for any reason, but it is an illness. And the hardest thing for those with the illness is that getting out of that dark room is so hard and a long process. There is no quick fix or easy way out. You have to fully commit yourself to getting out, to getting to the light. Unless you are committed, then you cannot make it. As you build strength, start conquering the hurdles, get closer to that door, it gets easier, the door opens more, revealing more of the light. There will be times when you cannot see the light at all. It is very easy for the deamon to convince you you will never get better, you will never make it out of that dark room, that this is it for the rest of your life. To overcome depression it takes the greatest of strengths because you are fighting yourself. It takes great faith. You have to believe it is possible. And as you get stronger, your belief will get stronger and the deamon will get weaker. Don't do it alone. People will remind you they are there in their own way and help you in their own way. Use all the help thats available, be open to having to work for it. It is worth it. 

Everyone copes with depression differently because not one form of depression is the same because everyone's deamons are different because they are part of you and everyone is different. But use advice from others as there are many similar characteristics. My friend went through depression and she said what helped her most was to 'fake it til she made it'. She simply convinced herself and all around her that she was better, that she was coping, that she was happy. And one day she realised that she was no longer depressed. She no longer had anything to feel down or low about. She was happy. 

The light is there. It never actually goes. So keep fighting. Remember how strong you are. Don't give up on life before it gives up on you. For as long as you are still alive, a part of you is still alive. When  depression has completely taken over you will no longer be here. So remember who you are. Remember it won't be easy. Don't be frustrated if it takes time. Just keep pushing. 

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you 

I will leave my mark so that everyone will know, I was here

I want to be an inspiration. I want to change people's lives. I want to make a difference


I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, and something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I want to say I lived each day, until I died
I know that I had something in, somebody's life
The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference, and this world will see

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I just want them to know
That I gave my all, did my best
Brought someone to hapiness
Left this world a little better just because...

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

Show me heaven

There you go
Flashing fever from your eyes
Hey babe, come over here and shut down tight
I'm not denying
We're flying above it all
Hold my hand, don't let me fall
You've such amazing grace
I've never felt this way

Show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Show me heaven please

Here I go
I'm shaking just like breeze
Hey babe I need your hand to steady me
I'm not denying
I'm frightened as much as you
Though I'm barely touching you
I've shivers down my spine
And it feels divine

Show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Show me heaven please

If you know what it's like
To dream a dream
Baby hold me tight
And let this be your...heaven

Cover me
Leave me breathless
Show me heaven please 

There is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do then can ever be done

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life