You are Never Alone

When the walls that surround you are silent
and solitude weighs like a stone,
as you search for a shoulder to lean on,
remember you are never alone.

When loneliness lowers its shadows,
and the voice that you hear is your own,
though nobody seems to be listening,
remember, you're never alone.

When each face in the street is a stranger,
and the path that you tread is unknown,
be guided by your faith and conviction,
remember, you're never alone.

Whatever the doubts that assail you,
however your dreams may be blown,
make courage your constant companion,
remember, you're never alone.

'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid' - Hebrews 13:6

'For when I am weak, then I am strong'

2 Corinthians 12:9b-10
'I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ's power over me. I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.'

Follow every rainbow, til you find your dream

Ok so I know it's incredibly gay and not cool but The Sound of Music is one of my favourite films of all time. It was both my parent's favourite film and when I was growing up I watched it so many times that I grew to love it. And still do to this day. Whenever I used to watch it as a child I would always forward the song 'Climb Every Mountain' because it bored me.
But now when I listen to the song I think it's absolutely beautiful. I love the lyrics and it may be incredibly cheesy but they are gorgeous.

Climb every mountain,
Search high and low,
Follow every highway,
Every path you know.

Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow,
'Till you find your dream.

A dream that will need
All the love you can give,
Every day of your life
For as long as you live.

Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow,
Till you find your dream

Love until it hurts

http://www.youthwork-magazine.co.uk/main/article/heavenandhell
Brilliant article, making me just that much more passionate about working with young people. Love the hell out of them. Literally

You never know what life will throw at you

Tis true.
Scary? yes.
Exciting?... I think so

Nothing Too Difficult

Lord,
Help me to remember,
no task I face today will be greater than the strength you give
to help me on my way.
No burden is too heavy if shared my Lord with you,
nothing is too difficult for you and I to do.

However hard the task may be that I have got to face,
sufficient strength you give to me with your unfailing grace.
Lord help me to remember that you are always there.
Your loving arms surround me and my whole life you share

Trust in God

Hold fast to the thought when skies are grey that the sun will rise on a bright new day

Don't give up

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
when the road your trudging seems all uphill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high
and you want to smile but you have to sigh
when care is pressing you down a bit
rest if you must but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns
as every one of us sometimes learns
and many a failure turns about
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
dont give up though the pace seems slow -
you may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out -
the silver tiny of the clouds of doubt
and you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far.

So stick to the fight when your hardest hit
its when things seem worst that you must not quit

You can look up at the stars and see the words I love you painted high above you

This song was sang by S Club 7 and I just absolutely love it! The lyrics are gorgeous

I wanna change world
But I know I have to start with me
Can you help me?

When the world is closing like
It's coming at ya
When you're in the darkest corner
I'm the one who'll come and catch ya

When your life is wandering
Down some nowhere highway
Try a different point of view and
Do your best to see things my way

Looking down, there is brother facing brother
Dying one by one, oh
But from the ground you can look up at the stars
and see the words, "I love you" painted high above you

Gonna change the world
Gonna make it right
Gonna get down on my knees tonight
Gonna change it all Gonna find a way
Gonna start to change the world today


There is not a book that you cannot rewrite
When your in the darkest corner, all you do is shine your light and


When the other guy is
Bigger than the sky
Just before he's gonna hit ya
You can always try a smile cause

All around hear million lonely people
As the say, "Goodbye", oh
Yet there's a sound of a world that's full of laughter
Because now I know I'm better at hello and

Gonna change the world
Gonna make it right
Gonna get down on my knees tonight
Gonna change it all
Gonna find a way
Gonna start to change the world today

When something is wrong
Only we can turn it around
So give me your hand my brother and walk together
'Cause we got a mountain to climb

Gonna change the world
Gonna make it right
Gonna get down on my knees tonight
Gonna change it all
Gonna find a way
Gonna start to change the world today

Hope

So there are many songs that have given me hope. Below are two of my favourites:

The first is 'When you believe' which is sang by Mariah Carey, I think its best known for being in the film The Prince of Egypt.... I heard it first when we sang it in my amateur dramatics show. This was at the time where we had just found out my Grandad had cancer and the song meant so much at the time and still to this day does. Enjoy

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could


There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe


In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe


They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight throught the rain
A small but still resilient voice
Says hope is very near

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
somehow you will
You will when you believe

Just believe in your heart

And what is so strange is that as I typed this up my ipod, which is on complete random shuffle just started playing this song!


The other song is a song I heard years and years ago and I absolutely love it. It's called Hope and is by Twista and Faith Evans


I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,
Knowing the cops is hot when I'm on the block, And I
Wish my brother woulda made bail,
So I won't have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail, And I
Wish that my grandmother wasn't sick,
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick, And I  Wish my homies wouldn't have to suffer,
When the streets get the upper had on us and we lose a brother, And I
Wish I could go deep in a zone,
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song, And I  Wish I could teach a soul to fly,
Take away the pain out cha hands and help you hold them hi, And I
Wish God never gave the men power
To be able to hurt the people inside the Twin Towers, And I  Wish God woulda turned they hearts righteous,
When they started to take innocent lives and become snipers, But uh
We will never break, though they devastate, we shall motivate,
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.
Instead of thinking about who gonna die to day,
The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain't gotta cry today.
Sit at the light so long,
And then we gotta move straight forward, cuz we fight so strong,
So when right go wrong,
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life go on!!!
Let's HOPE!

Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
Let's be hopeful!

I wish that you could show some love,
Instead of hatin so much when you see some other people commin up  I wish I could teach the world to sing,
Watch the music and have 'em trippin of the joy I bring,  I wish that we could hold hands,
Listen instead of dissin lessons from a grown man, And I
Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks
Brand new shack and a lack that's on dubs, And I
Wish we could keep achieving wonders,
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder,
And I hope all the kids eat,
And don't nobody in my family see six feet,
I hope them mothers stain' strong,
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone, And I
Wish I could give every celly some commissary,
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly, And I
Wish that DOC could scream again
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breath again,
Then one day they could speak again,
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,
I wish that enemies could talk,
And that super homie Christopher Reeves could still walk,
I wish that we could walk a path, stay doin the right thing
Hustle hard so the kids maintain up in the game,
Let's HOPE

Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
Let's be hopeful!

Wish the earth wasn't so apocalyptic,
I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it,
We can make it always so optimistic,
If you don't listen gotta live my life the best way I can live it,
I pray for justice when we go to court,
Wish it was all good so the country wouldn't have to go to war,
Why can't we kick it and just get em on,
And in the famous words of Mr. King "Why can't we all just get along",
Or we can find a better way to shop and please, And I
Hope we find a better way to cop a keys, And I
Wish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfillin these downfalls and prophecies,
You can be wrong if it's you doubting,
With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,
And only the heavenly father and ease the hurt,
Just let it go and keep prayin on your knees in church!!
And let's HOPE

Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
Let's be hopeful

I like to think I have thick skin...

I have been through enough that it takes a lot to break me, to hurt me, to pull me down.
But sometimes, if my strengths are not there, if the things I use in defence are absent, I am not so strong. I can get offended easily and find it hard to cope sometimes.
But generally I think I'm quite strong. I don't think I have a choice. And maybe part of this is I hate to be seen as weak when I would think that I'm everything but weak. But its a sign of real strength when you are not afraid to show your weaknesses, show your vulnerability. If you can ask for help when you need it instead of trying to fight without it, you are the stronger person. No one can ever do it alone. It's impossible. When you admit that and get over that, you will be stronger by far.

If I could be at your side I would be....

For years we have been each other's strength. Gone through absolutely everything together, the good and the bad. When I needed you most you were there at my side and when you needed me I'd be there. But now it's not so easy. I'm far away. I need you and you need me so much and yet we are far apart. I want to be with you, to hold your hand, be at your side. But that's not possible.
So I pray for you. Cos I don't know what else I can do.

The hardest thing I have to do sometimes... smile

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Hope does not disappoint us

'And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us' Romans 5:5


'Even tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil for you are with me' Psalm 23:4

'He has sent his angels to guard you and they will hold you in their arms so that you will not dash your foot against the stone'.

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

Everyday you grow in love and faith.
You learn something new everyday.
He works in mysterious ways to keep you guessing, to keep you learning.
He hides so you may actively seek him.
He gives you choices, so you might make mistakes, so that you may learn.

Facebook

If you go on my facebook profile this is what is written in my info....

Working for YCWs full time national team, looking after YCW in England and Wales and living in the community house in London.
Finished my a levels, hope to go to uni to study social work, with the aim to work in foster and adoption agencies.
Travel to Lourdes with HCPT and Welsh national pilgrimage every year, one week each.
Owe a lot to many people for sticking by me:
My friends <3
My Family <3
Clare <3 Leila <3 Beth <3 Hannah <3 Meg <3 Sophie <3 Stefsi <3

I have lots of sayings and can be reallly cheesy and sentimental but that's just me.
A listening ear to everyone and anyone.

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

Everyday you grow in love and faith.
You learn something new everyday.
He works in mysterious ways to keep you guessing, to keep you learning.
He hides so you may actively seek him.
He gives you choices, so you might make mistakes, so that you may learn.

Cymru am byth <3

'Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young'
1 Timothy 4:12

'Each young person is worth more than all the gold in the world because they are sons and daughters of God' -  Cardinal Joseph Cardijn

'He has sent his angels to guard you and they will hold you in their arms so that you will not dash your foot against the stone'

How to make God laugh - tell him your plans.

Live Each Day as if it were on Purpose

Skype anna.morris75
BB Pin - 23650f57
Twitter - agmorris1

www.ycwimpact.com
www.hcpt.org.uk
Check out my blog - http://anna1991thought4theday.blogspot.com/

I look back at my life and have no regrets, I can only smile at how far I have come :)
Together we can change the world
Individual actions may seem insignificant but together the small steps of many people can have an astonishing impact.

Look at my life,look at my heart
I have seen them fall apart
Now i'm ready to rise again
Look at my hopes, look at my dreams
I'm building bridges from these scenes
Now I'm ready to rise again

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference

Sound of a broken heart

In so many ways I tried to reach you
And I don’t know why I couldn’t get through
When I tried so hard to break your guard
Didn’t know it would leave this scar
Now I’ve made it this far
And the pain isn’t over
But the sun keeps on risin’
And I keep getting stronger

I never thought that I’d survive you
But I will be free
And there’ll be so many nights I gotta get through
But now I see
You’ll never be the end of me
Cos when my world fell apart
And I didn’t know where to start
I heard the sound of a broken heart
I still feel the pain
I heard the sound of a broken heart
It still beats the same

When will the world start spinnin’
And what happened to my happy ending
Learning what it takes, to turn this page
Didn’t know how to walk away
Now I’ve made it this far
And the pain isn’t over
But the sun keeps on risin’
And I keep getting stronger
And I won’t stay down; I know my heart’s still beating
Cos I hear the sound, tellin’ me I’m alright
Tellin’ me to move on

Don't give up on life before it gives up on you

I don't and will not ever give up.
I have gone through way too much to give it all up now.
I'm a fighter.
Not that I think I have a choice. Last time I tried to give up God stopped me.
Don't give up on life before it gives up on you.

Young Girl don't cry, I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

Young girl don’t cry
I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it’s alright
Your tears will dry, you’ll soon be free to fly

When you’re safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing’s harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there’s no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you’ll find the strength that will guide your way
You’ll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Young girl don’t hide
You’ll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you’re gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It’s so hard to stand your ground when you’re so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul

Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you’re learning
You’ll find all you’ll ever need to know
Be strong
You’ll break it
Hold on
You’ll make it
Just don’t forsake it because
No one can tell you what you can’t do
No one can stop you, you know that I’m talking to you

Young girl don’t cry I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall

I'm Scared

And I can't post this on facebook or twitter, cos that would be my 2nd depressing status of the day, and people would label me for that.
However, Im not sure how much good it is on here cos noone reads this so cant help. But it's better then locking it up i guess.
Haha people reading my blog most probably have a very negative view of who I am anyway, it's all very deep and honest, people don't generally like that. Scares them off you see.
But I don't think I care.

News in Egypt

My thoughts on the protests in Egypt are quite similar to the one's I had on the tuition fees protests:
I think it's brilliant that people are taking a stand and the protest is not a bad thing. However I cannot under any circumstances condemn violence. It is never, never an answer.
I can understand frustrations and this is them fighting in the only way they feel they will get noticed. However, innocent people's lives are being lost and devastated by this. And that can't be all blamed on the president. I don't agree with the president, I don't disagree with the anger of the protestors. But I disagree with the use of violence. And both sides have been as bad as eachother so noone can take blame for this.
Such chaos, it's a mess.
And I can't watch it. Just like the tuition fees protests where I was literally shielding my eyes from the tv screen cos I was so disgusted by the scenes I saw, I feel the same here.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

I love this prayer. And did not know this next bit existed until right now: 
 
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

Nobody knows what she's holding back

Ok so if you had had cancer and thought you felt a lump coming back, everyone would panic, rush you straight to the doctors, get you help. If you are unwell people notice and feel sorry for you and send you love and prayers, it is visible.
But if your illness is in your head, how do people know? Do you have to shout it to the world to get noticed and help? How do you distinguish between having a bad day and getting ill again? You get branded the moody one, the one who always has the depressed statuses, who has forgotten how to have fun, no one wants to bother or be friends with you. They don't ask how you are because they think you're just being moody. They don't think to pray for you because they don't know something is wrong. And sometimes you need someone to smile at you and give you a hug and let you know they are there for you, not push you away because of actions that are beyond your control. You need someone to pray for you, not bitch about you behind your back. You need more than ever to feel loved, not rejected. It's not even a case of wanting sympathy, its a case of wanting someone to care. But you can't tell anyone this. How do you show the pain? You can't.  And so the fight continues.

So don't ever underestimate the power of smiling at someone, or asking them how they are, if they are in a dark place, just showing recognition of their pain and not pushing them away is the best thing for them. It is not attention seeking. It's a cry for help.

'Young People are Worth More Than All the Gold in the World because they are Sons and Daughters of God' - Cardinal Joseph Cardijn, Founder of the YCW

I work for YCW (Young Christian Workers). YCW is a charity and organisation founded by Cardinal Jospeh Cardijn who saw the injustices young workers had to face and saw how the reality of young people contradicted what our faith tells us our reality should be like. He believed that this contradiction needed a pastoral response and so created a method - See, Judge, Act or the Review of Life. Young people come together in their local areas, accompanied by chaplains and adult companions, to look at their reality as young people, judge their reality using their faith and take action to change it. The organisation is present in many countries around the world and is for young people ages 13-30 years old. YCW aims to reach out to young people on the fringes of society, calling them out of isolation into a community. Young people become leaders in their own lives as they take action to change their realities. YCW believe young people are the experts of their own realities and can make a difference, in fact are the difference. Our founder said, 'Young people are worth more than all the gold in the world because they are sons and daughters of God'. We aim to help young people understand their worth and God given dignity and encourage them to link their life and faith.
I work for the YCW movement in England and Wales. We are based in London but have a presence in Cardiff, Salford, Brentwood, Southwark, Birmingham, Westminster, Shrewsbury and Middlesborough. My job is to help the development of the movement in these areas. This involves visiting the groups and giving them resources, which they can use to do the Review of Life in their areas. We write the resources and produce them, we train our young people and we train the adults and adult companions who accompany them. We believe that everything is by the young people, but nothing without the chaplain. We run a programme for our young people ages 13-17 called Impact. I am Impact Coordinator. I work with Phil, who is the other member of the national team and Jo who is our office manager. We are all employed by the charity. We have a national executive committee made up of a national president, treasurer, chaplain and an assistant to the national president, assistant to the national secretary (that's me) and assistant to the national chaplain. Myself, Phil, the national president and national treasurer live together in our community house in London with our chaplain (the assistant to the national chaplain).
I got involved in YCW 6 years ago. A friend of mine was attending the first meeting to set up YCW in Cardiff and didn't want to go alone so asked me to join her. Together we were part of and ran the first Impact group in Cardiff, went on to set up a YCW group and then became regional team (voluntarily) for Cardiff. I was then offered the job to work on national team. I started in September 2010 and will remain working for the movement until August 2012. 

When you realise you're in over your head have the courage to take a step back and start over

Don't go swimming in the deep end without your life jacket!

Loving this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwWdwo6SCpk

Watch it.... it's good!!

My Genesis

When we were on team retreat, the retreat leader asked us to describe how our faith was developed. I can't remember the exact words she used but this was my interpretation of it.

My faith was passed on to me through my family. Both my parents were brought up as Catholics and were married in a Catholic church. My brother, sister and myself were baptised in the Catholic faith as babies and attended Catholic primary and secondary school and college. Every Sunday since I was born we went to church without fail, we were very involved in parish life taking part in social activities and the music group. Even on holiday we would find a Catholic church for Sunday morning mass. My faith was a part of family life, was part of our social lives and almost routine. I did not feel connected to God on a very personal level but R.E. was my favourite subject in school and I was always asking questions.  When my mum was ill, I did not turn to my faith, I guess I was too young, but no matter how ill my mum was the one thing she continued to do was attend mass, as did my Dad. Looking back, this was most probably their way of coping with it all.

When I was 14 years old I went to Lourdes with HCPT and discovered my faith in a different context. For the first time in my life I felt close to God and so Lourdes became my favourite place in the world. It has a lot of special meaning to me because in that one week back in 2006 I grew so much in faith.

My illness meant I had to have faith. Through my illness I learnt so much about my faith and it was what pulled me through. I realised over time that my life was in God’s hands, it was part of his plan for me and it was the cross that I had to bear. When I tried to end it I believe it was God who inspired me to go to hospital and get the help, because it was part of his plan. And I learnt a lot from that experience. I learnt that I was going to get better, I just did not know how or when but God knew and I had to trust him. He gave me the ability to have dreams, aspirations and hopes for the future, so I must have a future. I found myself constantly looking for answers, which helped me grow and develop. At times I felt he had abandoned me, so I turned away from him. I grew to know that he would never  abandon me or turn me away, his arms were always open for me to come to him. I had to actively seek him to find him which gave me greater strength and faith. I had to trust that he was always at my side, guiding me and showing me the way and when things got really tough, he carried me.

Getting involved with YCW also gave me a greater understanding of my faith as it led me to a new parish, which became my life line throughout my illness. I became very involved, the people became my friends and mass on a Sunday was the one thing I had to do no matter what as it gave me strength to get me through the next week. The method of the YCW also keeps me learning about my faith and I met some amazing people through the charity.

I realise now that God sent me many gifts to help me in my illness. These included my faith, strength, trust and courage. The gifts also came in the form of people, my sister being the greatest gift of all as she became my reason for living. I know that he gives me choices so that I will make mistakes and learn and he will not hold these mistakes against me. I am on a journey with him and continue to grow and develop in faith and love. My faith has become the centre of my life and my guide. I learn something new every day.

The Light That Shines the Misty Way

My best friend wrote this for me, and it sums up our friendship. I wouldn't be here without her.

The light that shines the misty way

The hands you hold that guide your day

The one who sees the beauty you can’t

Your soothing words, the helping chant

You speak the sense I cannot see

You solve the problems that should not be

You give me strength to carry on

When I feel the love of life is gone

You clear my head and let me think

And let the feelings settle and sink

To give me time to sort it out

To organise and leave no doubt

    So how do I repay your gifts

The time you give and endless lifts

Your endless patience and words of sense

This can’t be paid in pounds and pence

So what I will do is always be here

Through difficult times and times of fear

You are my rock and I to you

The endless pain, we'll see it through

Together we stand divided we fall

We can face our struggles standing tall

We will carry on battling with all of our might

We are the strong ones that can’t loose the fight

Together We Can Change The World

Thanks to Georgia Peake for introducing me to this brilliant song:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
I believe it’s not too late
Together we can change the world
Lay the puzzle pieces out
Find out what it’s all about
Together we can change the world
Can’t do it by myself
So I’m asking for your help
Together we can change the world
Sail past where it’s been charted
Roll your sleeves up, let’s get started
Together we can change the world
Together we can change the world
With our hands and with our hearts
We can dare to make a start
Together we can change the world
What if we spoke with one voice,
Knowing that we have a choice?
Together we can change the world
Change your mind and change your life
Set aside the fear and strife
Together we can change the world
When we open up our eyes
Then we start to realize
Together we can change the world

Quotes - did I mention I was really cheesy and sentimental? You may have guessed already!

'You never realise how strong you are until being strong is your only choice', 'If you are going to walk a path blind ensure someone is there to guide you', 'when your mind says give up, hope whispers one more try', 'don't give up on life before it gives up on you', 'Grant me the serenity to acknowledge the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can and wisdom to know the difference', 'I'd rather be loved for the person i am then hated for something i am not', 'it's something unpredictable but in the end it's right, i hope you had the time of your life', 'if one door opens to another door closed i hope you keep on walking til you find the window, and if your faced with the choice and you have to choose i hope you choose the one that means the mo...st to you, and whilst your out there getting to where your getting to i hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too, and this is my wish', 'love changes everything, hands and faces, earth and sky, how you live and how you die, love can turn your world around and that world will last forever', 'be hopeful and he will make a way i know it aint easy but thats ok just be hopeful', 'i have never made promises lightly and there are some i have been broken but i swear in the days still left we will walk in fields of gold', 'now that it is raining more than ever, know that we'll still have eachother, you can stand under my umbrella', 'when the sun shines we will shine together, told you i'd be here forever', 'come on and let the rain pour i'll be all you need and more', 'your love is my drug', 'i hope your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, you never have to carry more than you can hold', 'don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for believers in faith, speech, love and purity', 'dare to dream the impossible because it may just come true', 'sometimes it falls on one generation to be great, you can be that great generation, let your greatness blossom', 'arise shine out stand up and be counted','it only takes one match to burn a thousand trees'. 'shadows fill an empty heart, where love is fading', 'i wish i could teach us all to fly, take the pain outta your hands and help you hold them high', ' i know that i got issues, but your pretty messed up too, either way i found that i'm nothing without you', 'who knows what miracles you can acheive, when you believe somehow you will', 'there are miracles in life i must achieve, but first i know it starts inside of me', 'from the ground you can look up at the stars and see the words i love you painted high above you', 'if i just believe it then there's nothing to it', 'i found myself today and ran away, but something pulled me back, voice of reason i forgot i had, when i'm standing in the dark i still believe, someone's watching over me', 'its not about how fast i get there, aint about whats waiting on the other side, its the climb', 'i can almost see it, that dream im dreaming but theres a voice inside my head saying you will never reach it, every step im taking every move i make feels lost without direction, but i gotta keep trying, keep my head held high', 'we may be a thousand miles apart, but i'll be with you wherever you are, i'm already there',' 'i took a ride, i wouldnt be here without you' 'i'm not afaid to take a stand, everybody come take my hand we will walk this road together through the storm', 'those who wish to follow me, i welcome with my hands' 'im loving angels instead', 'together we can change the world, i cant do it by myself so im asking for your help, roll your sleeves up lets get started, with our hands and our hearts we can begin to make a start' ' If you look at me closely you will see this girl will always find her way, all i need is time, a moment thats mine' 'Can you hear it calling, can you feel it in your soul, can you trust this longing and take control, cos its your time to fly, you can shine, forget about the reasons why you cant in life and start to try cos its your time to fly', 'I'm that star up in the sky, i'm that mountain peak up high, hey i made it, i'm the world's greatest, i'm that lil bit of hope when your backs against the rope, hey i made it i'm the world's greatest', 'you're amazing just the way you are', 'happy people, keeps the world turning', 'i look into the window of mind and see the reflection of the fears i left behind, still so many answers i do not know, realise that to question is to grow, i'm on my way, can't stop me now, so i step out of the ordinary, i can feel my soul ascending', 'Look at my life,look at my heart, I have seen them fall apart, now i'm ready to rise again, look at my hopes, look at my dreams, I'm building bridges from these scenes, now I'm ready to rise again', You got it in you, find it within, through it all, just stand up', 'I think you're amazing, you're amazing like the sunshine in Wales or a ray of light when the bulbs go out', 'if you're swimming in the deep end don't forget your life jacket', 'if you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best', 'I make lists in my sleep baby, whats my sin? Never quit, i follow through, i hate mess but i love you', For nothing is impossible to God'

So I want to write a book.....

Not because I feel I have a hugely inspirational life, or that I think everyone wants to know about it. Nor do I think I have an amazing wisdom to pass on. I don't believe I have the answers. Nor is my story that unique. But I do have a story. A story which many people don't like to talk about, people who have gone through it want to pack it up in a box and forget, those who haven't had experience of it often don't want to hear. And if people know my story, it might help them. I have experience. An experience that can help others.
Also I want to document my life. I have tried to write diaries, create photo albums and just simple writing stuff down. This may be because I'm quite the organisational freak! There are also many things that I want to remember but am scared I will forget.
I have sat down a few times to try and start it. Not sure how to. It may happen in two parts. I may just do something, not necessarily a book, to document my life. And I may write a book to share my experience.
This blog is helping me organise my thought. I am not ashamed of my experiences, I am not ashamed of my faith, beliefs, values. And I do not expect everyone to agree with them or want to listen. But this blog is already helping me (and it's only been 2 days) in organising my thoughts and transform them from being words in my head to sentences that other people might just be able to understand!

'Do not be afraid, just have faith' - Mark 5: 36

There came a time in my life when this quote was getting me through the day.
I had been ill for a few years, the doctors were trying everything yet I was making no substantial improvement. (Although looking back I can see I was taking small steps but couldn't see it at the time). I had accepted by this point that my illness was part of God's plan for me, it was his will and that everyone has a cross to bear and this was mine. However, my world was so dark and I couldn't see the light. I couldn't believe I was ever going to get better. I felt abandoned by God.
Then there was my turning point and I can't remember the exact moment it happened. I realised a few things. First was that God would never, ever abandon me. He was always, always there, I just had to seek and find him. Second was that I didn't know how or when, I had no answers, but I just knew that I was going to get better. I had dreams, I looked to my future, I had plans. God wouldn't plant these seeds if I wasn't going to get better. How could I fulfil the dream of being a social worker if I was ill? Therefore, I knew I had to get better. Just had no idea how. And so there was a glimmer of light. And this faith sustained me and brought me through. I was still afraid sometimes, I still questioned, I still looked for answers but I had faith in God. I gave my life to him and was prepared to do his will. And I knew that there was a reason for my illness. Just as Jesus carried the cross and died to save humanity, I was to suffer with this illness. From it I grew in faith, maturity and learnt so much. It has made me who I am. And this willingness to give in to God's will was a turning point in my faith. And with that faith came complete trust.
I learnt this trust from Mary, the Mother of God. Lourdes was where my faith was re-ignited. When I am in Lourdes, I feel closest to God. And so it holds a very special place in my heart and is where I am happiest and is my favourite place in the world. And so Mary is very special to me. She showed great faith and trust in the Lord when she was told she was to have the Son of God. I learnt a lot from her.
And sure enough, I got better.

Wow, this post has become very churchy! But it is my faith and I am proud to talk about it. It is my journey and I am not ashamed. And I continue to learn everyday.